The Memories We've Forgotten
by Lexicon24
Summary: "Now to her it seems as some cruel joke, that she must forever love someone who will never love her in the same way. And she still loved him, even now, but she felt as though she must carry it through the rest of her life like a dark burden holding on to her heart, forever aching, yearning, stabbing."
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I just wanted to give a few background notes that might help with understanding the story.**

 **Ages: Cyborg 25, Raven 23, Robin 23, Starfire 22, Beastboy 21**

 **Note that this is really just a prolog and the next chapters will jump ahead 2 years. The above ages are for the events of this chapter and will also jump ahead by two in upcoming chapters.**

 **I would also like to point out that I do not plan on making every detail of their lives accurate to the comics or anything, like in this chapter I don't think in the show Robin knew Batgirl before moving to Jump, but for the sake of the story just go with it.**

 **Thanks, and I hope you enjoy!**

Starfire knew more languages than she could count, in different galaxies, of different races, and amongst different cultures. So, needless to say, she was usually never at a loss for words. But even with her vast knowledge of languages, when she walked in one night on her boyfriend of 3 years in a passionate embrace with another woman, not a single phrase came to mind. Instead of making some quick, to the point, screw you remark, she just turned and walked back to her room, her face as expressionless as her mind.

The following day it did not take her long to pack. Cyborg had seen a disheveled red head who unmistakably was not Starfire leaving Robin's room the night before, and told the others about it before Starfire announced her departure. It hadn't taken more than a second for the Titans to put two and two together. As Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven all begged and reasoned for her to stay, she simply shook her head and thanked them for their friendship. She left amongst tears and hugs, leaving behind three lost and confused friends and Robin nowhere to be found.

At the time, she hadn't made any plans on where she was going. She wasn't even sure of how long she would be gone; maybe a day, a month, a year, or maybe she wouldn't be back at all. The only thing she knew for sure was that she needed time to deal with her emotions away from Robin.

As she left, she thought, for only a second, that she should stay and talk to him. But in the end she knew it would only lead to a fight, and hearing his explanation would only cause her more pain. No matter what he said, it would never make sense to her. For Tameranians, once you consummate your love with your chosen mate, you are biologically connected to that person. They from then on love that sole person with their whole being, and can never love another in the same way. When Starfire was younger it had seemed like such a beautiful notion, that you and one person would be joined so wholly you could never love another. Now to her it seems as some cruel joke, that she must forever love someone who will never love her in the same way. And she still loved him, even now, but she felt as though she must carry it through the rest of her life like a dark burden holding on to her heart, forever aching, yearning, stabbing.

It was to be a quick mission, Batman said, just gather information and get out, no fighting.. Batman wanted to know why records had been found in Joker's abandoned hideout in Gotham that linked him to a local arms dealer all the way in Jump City. So, since he couldn't abandon his post in Gotham Batman had asked Robin to take the mission without the rest of the Titans. It was a matter of stealth, he had told Robin, he didn't want the five of them on the trail, the more people the more chance of getting the cover blown, but Robin also knew the secrecy was more about Batman's inability to trust anyone one he hadn't trained himself. When Batgirl arrived to aid Robin in the mission the two Dark Knight prodiges were able knock out the task in no time. Earlier in the day Robin had feigned feeling a bit under the weather, but encouraged the other Titans to take a trip out to dinner and the movie theater. It had taken extra convincing to get Starfire to join as she insisted that she would stay with him and make one of her "special puddings", but after a promise to make it up to her with their own date the following week she reluctantly joined the others in their night out. Robin and Batgirl had no problem on the mission, they got in, got the information they were looking for, and got out. They were so quick, in fact, that after it was over they still had about an hour and a half until the other Titans returned home. So, after a little while of convincing for Batgirl, her and Robin stopped at a bar to have a few celebratory drinks and to catch up with one another.

As much as he didn't like to admit it, Robin had missed her. Not in any romantic sort of way, they had only dated for a few months before Robin called it off to move to Jump City and start off on his own. They both agreed it was better off anyways, Batgirl still had training to do with Batman and they both felt better staying friends. Batman, of course, highly supported that decisions as he had been pretty dismayed by his two apprentices interest in each other. But that had been 6 years ago, and except for a few visits Robin made to Gotham every year, they never really got a chance to catch up.

Looking back on that night, Robin, for the life of him, could not understand what had caused him to drink that much. Even though all of the Titans were now over the legal drinking limit he discouraged alcohol amongst the team except for very rare occasions, and even then only in moderation. So as Robin drained his sixth shot he was really starting to let loose. Maybe he was drinking because he was tired of always having to keep up a perfect image, or because he had missed his old friend and wanted to catch up, or because the more he drank the more she reminded him of Starfire and they really had been having problems lately. He didn't remember who had initiated it, or whose idea it had been to take the cab back to the Tower. Really, the only thing he remembered clearly that night was looking up to the open doorway and seeing Starfire there. And he knew what she was feeling as he saw her face, because it was an expression he had only seen her wear once before, when she received news of Galfore's death. Well, it wasn't an expression so much as a lack of one. Starfire wore her emotions on her sleeve, always expressing her happiness with a smile that never left her face and her sadness with tears. So when she showed nothing, just poised and stoic, he knew there was no erasing what he had done. That night, after telling his unfortunate friend to leave, Robin cried for the first time since his parents death.

 **AN: Suggestions and reviews are very welcome!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I am going to hopefully update this story at least once a week, if we're lucky maybe more. This chapter is really kind of setting up what is happening right now and leading into the main plot of the story, so I apologize in advance if it seems short or kinda boring. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy!**

 _And he knew what she was feeling as he saw her face, because it was an expression he had only seen her wear once before, when she received news of Galfore's death. Well, it wasn't an expression so much as a lack of one. Starfire wore her emotions on her sleeve, always expressing her happiness with a smile that never left her face and her sadness with tears. So when she showed nothing, just poised and stoic, he knew there was no erasing what he had done. That night, after telling his unfortunate friend to leave, Robin cried for the first time since his parents death._

 **Two Years Later**

Starfire hummed to herself as she looked out along the ocean from her spot atop a large sand dune. The water lapped rhythmically against the shore and the moon shone in a bright streak across the water and into the far horizon. She envied the moon, she thought, because even though it looked so alone it didn't know that. It was just a planet after all, and she was a living being and when she was alone she _felt_ it, so sometimes all she wanted was to join the moon in its solitary dance in the sky and not have to feel anymore. She sighed. It was peaceful here, but experiencing the world alone was not the same as it would be doing so with those she loved.

She had returned to Earth from Tamaran six months ago, but she did not return to the Titans. Instead she took it upon herself travel the second home that she really only knew a small part of. Amongst her time as a superhero on Earth she never got a chance to really see it. She didn't make any plans, she just moved along from place to place using the money she had saved from her time as a Titan, although most of the time she did not stay in hotels, but chose to find place to stay outside. After her return she became increasing lonely. She debated going back to Tamaran, but even there she knew she would feel the same.

She had not cut off contact with the Titans since she took her leave. A few weeks after she left she decided to return home to Tamaran, and every month she would make a video call to her friends to keep in touch and to let them know that she was okay. That was until a few months before her return to Earth when things became rather uncertain on Tamaran. That was a while ago now, and she did not like to think about those circumstances anyways.

Despite feeling alone, Starfire would not say that she was unhappy. She felt at peace with herself, more so than she had in a long time. She missed being a Titan, but she also knew that leaving was exactly what she needed to keep from going insane.

A male voice interrupted her from her train of thought.

"You can't keep running forever."

Starfire turned and met the eyes of the speaker.

"I have told the others many times, I do not wish to join-"

"That's fine, Starfire, I am not here to try and convince you otherwise," Superman said, sitting down in the sand next to her.

"Then why are you here?" She looked to him curiously.

"How are you?"

It did not go unnoticed by Starfire that he didn't actually give an answer to her question.

"I am quite excellent really, I have been quite enjoying the different parts of Earth," she said.

"That's not what I am talking about."

"If you are here to talk about Tor'as's death then surely you will be disappointed because I have nothing to say on the matter." The words came quickly and sharply.

"Starfire you must know that some members of the league fear having you roaming Earth with no clear alliance after what happened on Tamaran. I know you are not a danger, I have told them myself, but some still want to hear your side, and the only one who can give them that is you."

Her voice was quiet now, just above a whisper. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone. But they killed her," she looked away and blinked at the tears that involuntarily began to appear. "And I was so angry that I just _fought_. It was over before it even began."

"So they say. Starfire, you took out a rebellion of 500 men, with very little help. That is no small feat, and it did not go unnoticed. Which is why I must insist you come with me. There are not trying to capture you or keep you under a tether, the Justice League and the Green Lantern Corps. want to know what happened, that's all. Then you will be free to go. Just explain to them what you've told me."

"I fought for years with the Teen Titans! How can they question my loyalty to Earth? I pose no threat here."

"I know, but that was two years ago, and they are aware you didn't leave very… amiably. I know how you are feeling, but many reacted the same way when the true extent of my powers became apparent. And with you consistently denying the request for you to join the League they want to make sure there are no dangers with you here,"

Starfire played with the sand by her side for a moment before coming responding. She had debated the thought of joining the Justice League many times since her return and their sudden interest in her, but if she was being honest with herself one of her main reasons was to avoid seeing… one certain hero.

"I will come," she said, looking up.

The months following Starfire's departure had taken a hard toll on the remaining Titans. At first, Cyborg, Beastboy, and Raven all turned cold shoulders towards Robin, except in necessary times of battle. Eventually, though, their grudge against their leader began to wear off, especially with encouragement from Starfire over their brief video calls. She wanted the team to be happy again, she told them. She did not want her absence to cause them to fall apart, or what happened between her and Robin to cause the others to mistrust their leader. They all began to make an effort again to rebuild their trust amongst the team, especially with Robin. What began to bug the other Titans, though, was Robin's complete avoidance to anything dealing with the subject of Starfire. It was as if he wanted to erase the fact that she had ever been there at all.

That was until a few months ago when Robin decided that they would be adding another member to their team. It had been over a year and half since she left and he had decided it was time to move their number up to five again.

 _3 months prior_

 _Robin walked into the common room. The other three Titans were in their usual spots, Raven in the corner reading and the other two side by side on the couch playing video games._

" _Ahem."_

 _Raven looked up from her book to Robin's face. That was a very passive way of trying to get their attention and it drew her interest. Cyborg and Beastboy were too busy immersed in their game to notice._

" _Guys,"_

 _It work this time and the two turned around on the couch to see Robin._

 _Seeing how he now had everyone's attention Robin bluntly stated, " We are getting a new teammate."_

 _The others stared at him blankly._

" _Why do we need a new teammate? We've been doing just fine," Beastboy hedged._

" _BB is right," said Cyborg. "We've been doin' pretty dang good since Star left, I don't see the need to add someone new to the mix."_

 _Raven stayed silent, choosing to observe rather than add her opinion just yet._

" _We could use the extra hands in a fight. Besides, she's an archer and long distance fighting is something we lack."_

" _She?" Cyborg and Beastboy said in unison._

" _Her name is Artemis. No special abilities but she can shoot a bow just as good as anyone I've seen."_

" _You can't replace her, Robin," Cyborg said quietly._

 _Robin continued as if he hadn't heard him. "Plus, it'll give Raven another girl around so she doesn't feel so outnumbered." He gave a half hearted smile to Raven, hoping to tempt her to his side with the weak joke._

" _Where is she supposed to stay, anyways?" Beastboy asked._

" _In the open room," Robin said, avoiding their eyes._

" _That's Starfire's room," Raven stated._

 _No one said anything for a few moments, they all just waited for their leader's response._

" _Well no one is staying in there now so she can use it, there-"_

" _She can't stay in that room, if Starfire comes back she'll need to use it," Beastboy interjected._

" _It's not being used, there is no sense-"_

" _You can't keep ignoring her, man. We loved her and whatever happened between you two doesn't mean we're just going to forget about her like you did-" began Cyborg._

" _ **I know okay? I know I screwed up, I know she's gone, I know she's not coming back. But don't for one second say I forgot about her. I think about her every single day. I think about her in the empty space between Beastboy's jokes where her laughter used to fill. I think about her when I look at the empty chair at the table every meal where she used to sing her crazy Tamaranian songs. I think about her on the roof, where we watched the sunrise before everyone else was up. Sometimes I wish I would forget because it hurts too much to remember."**_ _He spoke softer now. "I know I can't replace her, I'm not trying too."_

 _Robin turned and left the room, the other three Titans sitting quietly behind, each of them now thinking about the things they remember from their absent friend._

 _Artemis moved in three days later, with no more complaints heard from the other team members._

That was three months ago, and Artemis seemed to mesh with the other Titans just fine.

During that period, Robin had also decided to make the switch to Nightwing. They had been working with the Justice League more often in the past few years and with the new Robin being around more he said it was just easier. Plus, it sounded pretty cool.

Raven and Beastboy had also begun officially dating. It happened about a year after Starfire left, while Beastboy was sick with some unknown illness and Raven took it upon herself to take care of him. They tried to keep it hidden for a while, but Cyborg and Robin eventually caught on.

Life, for the moment, was pretty normal for the Titans.

 **AN: So I will be referreing to Robin as Nightwing from now on. You'll also learn more about the whole Starfire situation in upcoming chapters, so sorry if it was kinda vague. Suggestions and reviews are always welcome, thanks for reading!**


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